Hello.

Since I've changed everything .. the link, name .. etc .. I'm guessing no one (among those I know) will find it ... so now, this will be a place for me to be 'normal'. I feel like deleting my old posts though ... the more I look at it, the guiltier I feel for myself .. I tried to live a 'happy' life for years .. but now, I give up. What is a 'happy' life ? How can I be happy when I'm not even sincere to myself ? I lied .. I fooled myself millions of times ..... I lied to everyone ... I lied ... yes, I lied. I'm sorry ......... I just need to be happy and I don't want you to worry ... although, I know that no one will be worried about me .. I just like to think that maybe .. just maybe someone will care about me. I wish ... and even dream for the most impossible things ... because I know I can't have it in real life. Let me be myself for once ..... I've tolerated your non-sense, why can't you tolerate mind for once ? I've never said anything .. I never complained about you .... why can't you just .. help me. For once ... just help me. I know I'm selfish ....... but I never left you behind.

Okay .. maybe I've done something to my family or my parents, or my friends .. or someone in the past ..... and this is actually a punishment .. then, fine ... okaay. I deserve it anyway ...

However .. if I could have one wish .... I wish ...... for things to be nothing like now.

.. Good night ...