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Isnin, 16 April 2012

Why Must I Hide Myself.................?

* I Won't Break Down In Front Of You *
(Credit to the real owner)

Helwwww ! Assalamualaikum ^^ Annyeonghasaeyo :) my dear readers ! I miss you guys so much ! I'm really, really, really sorry for not updating this blog for a while. Trust me, when I first entered form 6.....I could see my END ! A real living hell ! Oh well, if you want to survive, just fight for it, right? So I will fight for it :)

Talk about hiding, escaping, walking away.... Actually, there is a reason why I planned to update this blog. People keep on shooting me with questions, asking me WHY I didn't reply their messages, inbox, text and comments. Let's be honest now...... I'm really, really, EXTREMELY busy with my school work, assignments and presentation ! Yes, that's the reason. I really wish to reply all the messages you guys sent, but usually it ends up 'Your credit balance is $O.O7..please bla bla bla bla' see..~ I hardly have time to go online on FB or Twitter. Yes, you can spot me on twitter sometimes, but please be noted that MY TWITTER JUST LOST ITS BRAIN ! Oh wait......does twitter have a brain ? O.o I don't know..there is something wrong with it, and sometimes I can't even see the mentions. OK ? Clear now ? FB, just like I mentioned social life is completely 'DOWN' ! Even now, I still have to finish 3 tasks ! And to be handed it tomorrow.

Can you guys believe that last week, I didn't sleep for 2 days ? Yes, TWO DAYS ! I can't sleep --' fudge ! I hate my life now, but don't have any choices ! Just do whatever you chose !

Actually, the main reason why I posted this.. I feel kind of lonely lately.. Remember my two favourite girls ? Farah & Azee ? I used to imagine that maybe the three (at least Farah will) of us will make it into sixth form. But.....I guess faith has it's own way. We split up...... And yes, I don't have my best friends at school. I prefer being alone sometimes, where I can recall how my life was when I have the girls with me.

Deep down inside........ I feel slightly jealous whenever my friends have their own best friends. They talk/gossip about a lot of things...and I'm kind of being isolated from the group. Well, maybe I'm the only one who feels that way..but still, my heart what makes me cry :) My new friends are the best, of course ! They are very friendly, funny and playful too. But.....I don't feel like myself when they are around. I see myself as a stranger. Who knows ? Maybe my existence annoys them ? It scares me.... I'm scared to face the future. Sometimes, I even forced myself to smile... I have to hold back my tears. I don't want to break down in front of people. That's not how YUY manages her life :) I don't share secrets either. I prefer to be in pain alone :) I don't want to be a burden...

I try to hide away from everyone. I don't want to wake up and face everything anymore ! Yes, I'm still the old 'FYQAH'. The girl who is lacking of confidence ! Call me won't understand how I drag myself until here. They might say that I tend to forget them...... No dear :) though this night might be the last night for me..I won't forget you guys :) I love you guys so much. I don't think I have to mention the names, right ? You know who you are. And I just want you to know...YOU HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART :) <3 I may not be perfect. I can't be with you all the time. I may not be replying your messages (out of credit --'). I may not be your one and only.......but I can promise you, I'm original :)

No, I'm not giving up my life ! I just don't want people to think that I've forgotten them ! :( I really love you guys..please don't think of me that way. It hurts..... It hurts knowing that I'm not there with you when you needed me :(( I'm a bad friend.

Ah, my time is up. Need to continue with my work :) Promise, I will send/drop you some messages through inbox, twitter or even chatbox ;) yeah, the new chatbox... Whatever. I will be going now. Good-bye/ Good-night loves

Fyqah : Kak Ilah...... Fyqah syg akk. Akk tau kan ? Minta maaf sgt...sebab Fyqah xdpt balas message akk. Dh lama fyqah xonline......fyqah rindu sgt kat akk. Good-night *kiss*